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  • I haven't written here in forever, although I've been writing in my ED LiveJournal some. The truth is that, lately, I really just haven't had much to say along ED lines. My b/ping has decreased significantly in frequenc…

  • I'm really tired right now, but a lot of it is my own fault. I can't seem to let go of this stupid b/p train I've been on. I'm terrified that if I stop b/ping, and eat normally, I'm going to gain a lot of weight. This is…

  • Somewhat short update

    I have an appointment at the counselling center on Monday. With a psychiatry resident. *groans* I don't know if it will be a good thing or a bad thing... but I guess I can give it a shot, right? I mean, will it really hu…

  • This is what it is to have an eating disorder.

    my reflection... hurts me. i am a lump of lard, a spewing, volcanic thing, erupting out of all bounds of what it means to be normal. please tell me this isn't me. i want to claw at it, break the glass, smear my blood …

  • I have a Latin quiz tomorrow, but I have not been studying nearly enough. I still couldn't tell you what most of the nine special adjectives are, or what any of them mean, and I have to know them all for tomorrow morning…

  • Eating fucked-up-ness

    What do I do? Do I attempt, yet again, to try and eat normally -- to choose mostly healthy and nutrient-dense foods -- to maybe start going to the gym on campus again? I did feel better when I was doing that. Do I try i…

  • The past vs. the present

    A couple of days ago I was looking through some things in a bin that I was considering clearing out for my mom to use in the yard sale they had, and in it I found my old binder from residential treatment, with all the sh…

  • So I'm just starting a binge, and I go to my iTunes and turn on the shuffle... and what's the first song that comes up? "Addicted" by Kelly Clarkson. It's sad when even your mp3 player knows you have problems. >P …

  • Slow digestion woes

    My slow digestion has really been driving me mad... both last night and tonight. For awhile there I really hadn't felt it as much -- maybe because I wasn't paying as much attention; I'm not sure -- but last night it trig…

  • The difficulty of waking up came to a head this morning, when I set my alarm for 6 AM, so I could be up to get ready and go to work for 7:00... but didn't wake up at all until about 7 :S. I didn't even hear the alarm. Cl…

PerfectShadesOfBlue22

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    • Name: PerfectShadesOfBlue2
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    • Member Since: 9/9/2006

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